holysmokesfantastic:

Meet Rosie, the Rose Bowl’s cat.

I did this photo shoot with the ONE cat I’ve ever liked, and it died two days later.

#amybortonisakillerphotographer #nobutreallyamybortonissad

It’s time you send a friend request to Jay Borton.

My dad is funnier than I am.

#onfacebook #inreallife

I heard it through the grapevine.

"Her Instagram handle is ‘amybortonissad,’ right? I always read it as ‘abortion is sad.’"

"Well," my friend responded, "one of her nicknames is Abortion."

#itstrue

Me with my friends.
#isamybortonasmartgirl

Me with my friends.

#isamybortonasmartgirl

(via smartgirlsattheparty)

You look like … you like coleslaw.

#thanks? #idont
#fashion

#fashion

#amybortonissuperhip

#amybortonissuperhip

#prozac

(Source: stupidfuckingquestions, via nbcsnl)

Ahem, no filter. 

#amybortonissad

Ahem, no filter.

#amybortonissad

#mantras

#smokinggun

This public restroom has a lock for a reason.

Walked in on a woman in her 60s using the bathroom at work, who had evidently forgotten to lock the door.

You’re never too old to be scarred for life.

#bathroombreak

Sunday funday.

Today was a good day. I slept in a bit, had a fantastic time at Magic Mountain with one of my closest friends and came home to another dear friend asking me to do a reading at her upcoming wedding. But the real highlight of my day? Being asked by the cashier at Corner Bakery to complete a survey and getting a free (and very delicious) dessert because of it.

#win #fatkidchronicles

I hate that I know what molting is.

My hermit crab, Alexander Hamilton, is molting and it is freeeeeeaking me out.

#hisclawjustfelloff #myarmjustfelloff

When Amy casts the first stone…

Do not laugh at someone’s outfit when (1) they are doing you a favor and (2) you are wearing tie-dye.

#fashion