“The uneasy suspicion that if you heard yourself talking, you would sound like an a-hole.”
— #amybortonisprobablysuchan@$$¿%£€

This beautiful Saturday morning calls for a gourmet breakfast in bed and enlightened television programming.


Gutter monkey in Beverly Hills.


The truth about Eby.

After what is now THREE times where a cashier/barista has misheard my name as Eby, I am finally ready to accept the probability that I actually just mispronounce my name.



(via jessehimself)

Anyone call for a kickin’ Tuesday night?


“Oh, it’ll be good to practice on your back because it’s so long. Wait, except you don’t have any back muscle.”
— #massagetime

More coffee plz.

I got slapped in the coffee cup by a random child passing by.

“You don’t play video games, Amy? You’re sad.”

11-year old logic.


So I have a friend who works in a hospital…


So I have a friend who works in a hospital…



The saddest feminist.

I initially rolled my eyes at this celebrity nude photos leak, since there are always bigger issues at hand than anything to do with famous people (sorry), especially right now. But then I read some of the (censored) commentary on Reddit and realized this is really about so much more.

We are supposed to control who gets to see us naked, vulnerable. We are supposed to control our sex life, our privacy. You are not entitled. This crass possessive attitude of — sorry to say it for fear of turning people off from my “feminist soap box” — women’s bodies, where strangers get to scroll through, zoom in, get off on and then shame a woman for what were private expressions of her own sexuality is exactly what promotes a rape culture, is a big part of the reason why every one of us knows someone who has been sexually assaulted; with rape alone, it’s 1/6 of American women, and of course that doesn’t include other forms of assault towards both men and women (and children).

Stop. You cannot chase after someone’s sexuality and then judge them for being sexual. You have people in your life whom you love and respect, and you would be sickened if someone exploited their bodies. It happens in much bigger and much smaller ways than a photo leak every day, so this isn’t about a philosophical or political belief but, rather, about taking care of each other. OK.