You look like you like coleslaw.

#thanks? #fortherecordamybortondoesnotlikecoleaw
#fashion

#fashion

#amybortonissuperhip

#amybortonissuperhip

#prozac

(Source: stupidfuckingquestions, via nbcsnl)

Ahem, no filter. 

#amybortonissad

Ahem, no filter.

#amybortonissad

http://www.buzzfeed.com/keelyflaherty/proverbs-for-introverts

#mantras

#smokinggun

This public restroom has a lock for a reason.

Walked in on a woman in her 60s using the bathroom at work, who had evidently forgotten to lock the door.

You’re never too old to be scarred for life.

#bathroombreak

Sunday funday.

Today was a good day. I slept in a bit, had a fantastic time at Magic Mountain with one of my closest friends and came home to another dear friend asking me to do a reading at her upcoming wedding. But the real highlight of my day? Being asked by the cashier at Corner Bakery to complete a survey and getting a free (and very delicious) dessert because of it.

#win #fatkidchronicles

I hate that I know what molting is.

My hermit crab, Alexander Hamilton, is molting and it is freeeeeeaking me out.

#hisclawjustfelloff #myarmjustfelloff

When Amy casts the first stone…

Do not laugh at someone’s outfit when (1) they are doing you a favor and (2) you are wearing tie-dye.

#fashion

Texts from my boss.

#lifeadvice

Texts from my boss.

#lifeadvice

Dear lord, I hope those are supposed to be my arms.

#portraitofawinner

Dear lord, I hope those are supposed to be my arms.

#portraitofawinner

I’m friends with a dude for five years, and just a couple of months after we start dating, he moves to Europe.

#amyknowshowtodate #getouttatown #byeeric

I’m friends with a dude for five years, and just a couple of months after we start dating, he moves to Europe.

#amyknowshowtodate #getouttatown #byeeric

#amybortonissad

#amybortonissad